Family Life Lessons: 2- Too Much of a Good Thing!?

I have striven to be a good husband in many ways. Recently, I cleaned the living room like it hasn't been cleaned in a long time, I'm talking about down on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor with Murphy's oil Soap. Likewise, I have been increasing my efforts in the kitchen. Now that Sarah is working 2-3 12 hour shifts a week, I have washed the dishes more than I have in the past and have explored new recipes to satisfy her ravenous hunger especially on her work days. I have on occasion packed her lunch, I have consistently been walking Jude every morning in the Snugli, but recently, I have gone too far. We have a Netflix account and the only internet access we have is at my office. I have been trying to order movies that she will like in addition to the type of movies I tend to enjoy. She has truly enjoyed the Anne of Green Gables book series several times through, so, I thought she would appreciate watching Anne of Green Gables (as a brief respite from our current trek through the Heroes series). So, we watched Anne of Green Gables over the past two nights, during which, I have to admit, I did tear up a little. On top of all these things at home, I have a good relationship with my mom, and get along better with the women of our church than the men.

With all of that running through her mind, last night Sarah asked me, "Are you gay?"

In light of that query, I am changing my ways. I am going to load up our Netflix queue with the entire Die Hard, Terminator, Rocky, series'. I am going to start a diet that consists primarily of steak and Ranch Style Beans, and let the farting begin (that's right Mom, farting, not passing gas). I will no longer flush the toilet or put the seat down. I am going to leave my holey underwear all over the house and order all of Dish network's NFL and ESPN channel's. If I do any decorating, it will be with sports memorabilia. I am going to hunt as much as I can this season and mount their decapitated heads all over the house. I might even get that singing fish thing mounted in our house. I am going to start dipping, well, I'm not sure I can follow up on that one, but I will at least carry a can around in my back pocket. This is the new Drew.